I have everything, yet nothing!

I am a young girl, in my early 20's. An engineer by profession. Till I completed my graduation, I was simply unaware of the package that comes with independence and growing in age. Parents used to fulfill all my needs, sooner or later. Friends were there at a reachable distance. Difficult situations then were passing exams and completing assignments. I used to find happiness in my bike rides and talking on the phone for long hours or simply reading novels or lying on my mothers’ lap!

And then I grew up! I graduated, moved out of home, out of my city and gradually to another state. Different people, different weather, different food, different ways of life. My wake up alarm got replaced to a phone call or alarm from my mothers’ soothing sound calling my name. Its been months I haven’t seen how breakfast looks like. A solemn bath is a dream that gets fulfilled only on Sundays.

Work which was done by the help of friends and family has been taken away by a laptop and WiFi connection. My lunch has become my evening breakfast! Sitting on the couch, eating home-made delicious food has been gone for long. Now its a lunchbox and some equally tensed colleagues and some more work. Coming home to smiles has been replaced by an empty room with tired roommates and dull faces. My health needs medicines to stay just above the “borderline” mark. I miss healthy food.

Those nights of studies, gossips, friends and phone calls have become extra time for some more work. Friends are no more at a reachable distance. That little distance has been replaced by text messages, WhatsApp, ringing tones and video calls. Sorrows and worries sit at the place of happiness. People close to me think I have pride of my money. The money that I started earning a few months back and the little that I earn, the more I have to return to people. How people never realize it is difficult to make ends meet.

But I still have everything! A rented room at a very cheap cost. I live in a metropolitan city with numerous facilities. A salary figure to boast about compared to a few other people around me. A friend to fight and keep fighting and meeting and making up and spending time and then again. Gadgets in my hand to connect to everyone, whereas at the back of my mind I am still alone and still longing to hug my mom. But that is okay. No money to buy groceries but then who cares. Outer appearances are more important, aren’t they? What clothes, what talks, what time, what people, what work! People always see what they want to. I can sleep around on weekends. At least I have two days, which vanish within the blink of an eye. But then, who cares.

I wish I had so much less of this, but so much more happiness, warmth, no worries, no ill feelings, no fights. I wish people understood me better. I wish I was little. As little as Tinkerbell! Since, I have everything, yet nothing!